“Every month when I get my period
I breathe a sigh of relief and thank God I’m not pregnant,
‘cause you never know when Jesus is coming back
and you never know who God’s gonna choose
to be the next Virgin Mary
and can you imagine anything more scary
than staring down between your legs
and seeing the little glowing head of baby Jesus?
Holy shit, no thank you.
I mean, what kind of bumper sticker would you get?
‘Your son’s an honor student?
Yeah well, my son walks on water and heals lepers, motherfuckers’?
Think of the pressure.
Personally, I’d prefer to give birth to Lucifer,
A fixer-upper, the kind of kid who would sit at the Last Supper
and complain that Peter got more mashed potatoes,
‘cause God knows
the holy have done more damage to this world
than the devil ever could.”
- Every Month, Andrea Gibson (via mymuffinroared)
I breathe a sigh of relief and thank God I’m not pregnant,
‘cause you never know when Jesus is coming back
and you never know who God’s gonna choose
to be the next Virgin Mary
and can you imagine anything more scary
than staring down between your legs
and seeing the little glowing head of baby Jesus?
Holy shit, no thank you.
I mean, what kind of bumper sticker would you get?
‘Your son’s an honor student?
Yeah well, my son walks on water and heals lepers, motherfuckers’?
Think of the pressure.
Personally, I’d prefer to give birth to Lucifer,
A fixer-upper, the kind of kid who would sit at the Last Supper
and complain that Peter got more mashed potatoes,
‘cause God knows
the holy have done more damage to this world
than the devil ever could.”
- Every Month, Andrea Gibson (via mymuffinroared)